Arrogance

You know that guy who really loves himself, thinks he has the best of everything and is never wrong, who acts as if he is superior to other people and moves around with a swagger. This is an arrogant person.

Arrogance is a double-edged sword, it can help you attract a few fans as it is the dark side of confidence, and confidence is a good thing. Arrogance however will fill the hearts of those around you with hatred. After all, no one likes to be treated with disdain, and made to feel inferior.

Sometimes the real reason for acting in this arrogant way is to hide one's own feelings of inferiority. A person who tries to give the impression that he is superior may be hiding afear or some kind of vulnerability. If someone claims the ability to do good things like any normal human being, that’s fine but if someone starts to act like a demi-God because of the powerful position in which he finds himself, then he is probably feeling exactly the opposite – in fact very inadequate and anxious - and is trying to compensate for that fear by trying to appear superior. It is all about show and no substance.

In most religions arrogance is considered a spiritual disease simply because thinking that you are superior means that you think that you are the only one responsible for your success, or that you deserve success more than the next person and so, implicitly denying the role of God. We live in a nation where I am sure we see the power of God everyday. Ask President Goodluck Jonathan about that. Even he stated that he is only president by the grace of God.

Why then are we so arrogant when we gain wealth, status and position? Why do we so quickly forget our humble beginnings when we feel that we have achieved or have a healthy bank balance. It is amazing how it all becomes about belonging to the privileged group or keeping up appearances. We need to show that we have arrived. We play this script over and over and over again. It is like we never learn from the example of our forefathers – so many people who reached the heights from humble beginnings, behaved arrogantly, and ended up disgraced and alone!

The same thing happens at home. If we are presently in a relationship that is difficult, we are not happy with our partner, our child, some aspect of our life, we should look within and question what aspects of “OUR” behavior is creating this scenario around us. Always blaming the other person, and never us accepting fault. We should understand that it is never about the other person. It is about “US.” We need to take a good look at ourselves O!

Arrogant people are reactionary. We react to protect the superior image we want to portray. We are actually easy to control as one can predict our reaction to any given set of circumstances. All that is required is to make us feel important and we will like you. After all, the arrogant person wants nothing more than to be respected. On the other hand if you want to provoke our displeasure, simply ignore us or disagree. We hate to feel disrespected.

If you feel that you are good at something then that's great, but know that you are still a human being who has many weaknesses. Focusing only your points of strength will make you arrogant, Thinking only of your weaknesses will make you feel worthless, while focusing on both of them will make you master of yourself. This is the key to satisfaction in life, doing your own thing and letting others be. To live and let live and be master of self.

So if you find yourself always in an argument or having a turbulent relationship with your partner, take a step back and remove yourself from the situation. Try to imagine how the scene would run if you applied some positivity.“Most of us are accustomed to the idea that we are responsible for most of our actions but not all of them. We consider ourselves responsible, for example, for the good deed that brings our neighbour and us together, or for responding to it positively, but we do not consider ourselves responsible for the argument between our partner and us or for responding to it negatively.” – (Gary Zukav, The Seat Of The Soul)